I was browsing LinkedIn job postings, with the key words “writer editor” and came across this. I’ve never seen anything like it, have you? In particular, check out her “Outcomes” section. I guess there’s something to be said for being clear about what you absolutely want?
Of course, there’s also something to be said for perhaps hiring two or three people (including a therapist, and child care provider) to do the work of a corporate wife, and paying each a heck of a lot more than $50,000 a year. Emphasis added… Enjoy. Or, shudder. I wish the best of all luck, health, and cases of wine for the poor person who lands this job.
Executive Personal Assistant, [city], [state]
This is a full-time Executive Assistant position. I am the CEO of a rapidly growing business. You will be my right-hand man/woman, serving as the administrative and functional point-person for business and personal matters. You will be responsible for the smooth functioning of tasks, systems, and communication for all aspects of my life; anything I can possibly delegate. The ability to organize multiple things/tasks, anticipate needs, and foresee potential problems is most essential for success with this position. You must have the ability to work from home and be able to make daily visits to: our office, our home (7 minutes apart), and run errands.
This is not an easy Office Assistant position. This is the REAL deal. You will be my liaison, an ambassador for the company and for me; I must be able to trust in your reliability and professionalism – always! Your day may range from: reviewing contracts, dictating/delivering detailed messages, responding to my email, grocery shopping, escorting me or family members to-and-from appointments, to running random errands of a personal nature. You will be exposed to highly personal and confidential information. You will be held accountable for its confidentiality. You need a clean, reliable vehicle with current auto insurance. I will perform a background check and drug screening. You need to be proficient with computers (Windows 7, Office 2010/13), willing to learn new software (CRM, html, wordpress, and more), possess superb communication abilities, and be comfortable at both a black-tie event and getting dirty to clean something or make a simple repair. You also need to be flexible; what we plan on a given day and week may change unexpectedly. You must be able to shift gears quickly and completely.
I can be demanding. I am a perfectionist and expect a high standard of quality and attention to detail. I am also friendly, kind, and compassionate. However, I have found that many people interpret my amiable nature as a sign of “softness” and make the assumption that I will be forgiving of poor quality, excuses, work that does not reflect best efforts, or work done without full integrity. This assumption is not tolerated. I expect top quality work and will hold you accountable, as I hold other employees, vendors, and myself. With that said, I believe this is a “two-way street:” I am fair, express appreciation, and reward quality work and efforts. As long as these mutual expectations are understood and respected, we will get along fabulously!
I work hard to communicate clearly, but I need someone who can think for themselves, ask clarifying questions (I often can’t tell what is stuck in my head vs what I’ve communicated to others) and also be confident to make decisions without relying on literal/explicit directions all the time.
With all of this said, I’m a hard worker and a “do for myself” kind of person. It’s not in my nature to ask for help or expect others to “wait” on me. So, it’s a bit out of my comfort zone to delegate so much. However, I am responsible for the livelihood of many families (including, possibly, yours) and the only way I can possibly keep our business growing is to delegate just about everything. I am looking for a strong, self-assured person who can take direction, yet also be free to ask clarifying questions and actively seek better, more efficient ways to do things. You will be assuming a role of leadership as a close confidant and representative, interacting with my family, employees, vendors, and clients.
Responsibilities include but are not limited to: · Act as an ambassador for the company and for me: via email, on the phone, and face-to-face. · Organize an ever-changing calendar and complex schedule including business and personal matters. · Manage basic office and administrative tasks and responsibilities. · Assist with event and party planning for business and personal, dinners, social gatherings, etc. · Assist with managing business and personal expenses, reconcile credit cards and prepare reports, as needed. · Personal shopping, executing special requests, errands and related duties as needed. · Be my gate-keeper. Manage communication with the “rest of the world.” · Book flights and travel arrangements, organize detailed itineraries. · Manage my email: sorting, prioritizing, and responding on my behalf. · Initiate correspondence, as needed. · Coordinate email broadcasts, blog posts, and scrutinize all content carefully for spelling, grammar, and clear/consistent formatting. · Coordinate with household manager, as needed. · Coordinate my children: school papers, school and activity calendars, supplies needed for school and special events, childcare when travelling. · Keep an up-to-date diary of your duties: a calendar of routine tasks, carefully documented notes of tasks completed, and a updated manuals, allowing anyone to step in and do your job in your absence.
What a Day Might Look Like: This is a dynamic position for someone who does not like to sit still and prefers variety. Despite the variety, however, 85% of your days might look like this: · Stop at our house, pick up mail. Sort children’s papers from school. · Stop by our office. Sort mail. Check in with me and my husband. (You will be assisting him, too.) Determine what needs to be done for the day. · Run errands and/or return to your home office to work.
HOURS: General business hours, with flexibility. I will work with you to establish a daily (morning) check-in time that works for both of our schedules and will expect that time to remain consistent. During business hours, I would expect you to check in three times a day: face-to-face or via phone at the beginning of the day, and via text/email at the middle of the day, and just before the end of the day. Occasionally, I may need to ask for help “putting out a fire,” but we work proactively and don’t encounter those types of situations very often.
Requirements: · Professional mindset and the utmost discretion. · Detail-oriented with exceptional organizational skills. · College degree required. Education background preferred. · Previous experience preferred. Additional training will be provided. · Excellent references from both current and previous employers. · Ability to prioritize executive tasks and multi-task effectively. · Have strong English communication skills, both written and verbal. · Proficiency in all areas of Microsoft Office and Windows 7; must be willing to troubleshoot tech issues. · Ability to work independently and as part of a team. · Flexibility with hours and scheduling; available to work overtime as needed. · Flexibility to work outside of strict job description parameters, thinking creatively about how to provide highest quality of service. · Valid driver’s license with clean record. · Evidence of continuing self-development and/or professional development. · Willingness to find ways of working smarter, not harder. · Personal characteristics: honesty, integrity, and trustworthiness are most important to me personally, and to our organization. We welcome people who are also friendly, optimistic, loyal, and have a decent sense of humor. · Non-smoking. (All four members of my family are highly allergic to smoke.)
Outcomes: As a result of hiring this position, I expect the following outcomes.· I will feel less strain on my marriage. Someone else needs to be the “nag.” My husband fully acknowledges that “follow-through” is not his strength. He’s given me permission to nag, but it’s not good for our relationship. · I will have more productive time. I waste a lot of time formatting new documents, materials, forms, and marketing content. I expect to delegate formatting completely. · I will have more mental bandwidth. Developing new ideas and content require a forward outlook. Currently, I am dragged down by details that I should be able to delegate, only monitoring periodically. · I will have energy to enjoy my children at the end of the day. I currently spend most of my days feeling behind and unproductive. This launches me into my evenings with a vast sense of anxiety and preoccupation with what was not done. I need to feel comfortable that things are moving forward, even when I’ve taken a break. (That’s not to say that this position requires late hours….only that it will be freeing to know that business productivity is not exclusively dependent on me.) · I will have a more profitable company. All of the strategy and resources produced by [company] are entirely dependent on my leadership. I must be able to move forward with new ideas, concepts, products, and services to live on the “creative plane” and provide for my employees. · I will have time to take care of myself. I’ve been operating at 120% for several years. According to Nintendo Wii (and my biz coaches), I’m aging 10 years beyond my chronological age. This needs to stop! I need to feel healthy, awake, and energized. · I will not have pressure to hold all of the details together. I will no longer have the responsibility of tracking people down, nagging about tasks, and being the only source of Quality Control. This has created a burden of intense strain. · I can be a thought-leader. I can read more books, do more research, and connect more dots. I will be free to document connections, outlines, frameworks of content, record concepts and allow someone else to oversee the process of communicating with the writer, the editor, the transcriptionist, etc. · I will be able to give freely to others (with careful discretion) because my “cup” will be full. I won’t feel torn in 1,000 different directions. I will have the resources to do what “needs to be done” without feeling like I’m going to explode at someone else later because I’m overtaxed.
Conditions: Salary: $35,000-50,000 (based on experience) with healthcare & 401K. Vacation: 2 weeks paid. Additionally, our office is closed during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. – National holidays: Memorial Day, 4th of July, Labor Day, Thanksgiving + Black Friday. Hours: Full Time, Mon-Friday. Starting date: July, 2013
Next steps: If this does not IMMEDIATELY sound like what you are willing and capable of doing, DO NOT contact me.
If this does sound like you, I am anxious to meet you! All inquiries and submissions should be directed to: application at studyskills.com. Please provide the information listed below. Follow directions carefully: – A letter describing why you are interested in this position. – Your resume detailing education, work experience, and contact information. Be sure to copy/paste both of these items in the body of an email. (No attachments.) Begin with your letter. Leave four lines of spacing following your signature, then post your resume. – In the subject line of your email, enter only the word, “Sunshine.” – We ask interested candidates to complete a 10-20-minute activity that will be sent to you, following receipt of your application. Any candidate that takes the time to do this activity, will be given thorough consideration for this position!
4 thoughts on “is this married CEO is looking for a corporate wife?”
Omg!!! I’m exhausted reading half of that! I didn’t have the personal qualities to make it the whole way through!
I don’t have them either. I also think my sense of irony is too high.
I’m hoping against hope you’ll follow up this post with a comment that says it was posted as a joke. This “CEO” is insane, and anyone who wants to fill this position, even more so.
Just checked LinkedIn — the listing is no longer there. Perhaps it was a joke? Or perhaps the posting CEO came to her senses? I hope it’s one of those options. I’d be sad if the job’s been filled… 😛