I like this, I like her writing, so much. She does what I have done, but for a different reason:

Last Halloween, as the children and I were making our way through the neighborhood streets in the deepening dusk, I watched as lights began to come on in the houses around us. I found myself peering in (see, this is creepy) as people went about their daily lives, making dinner, watching TV. As I watched each tiny pinprick of a moment, I found myself wondering if these people were happy. I watched and absorbed details as we passed. I want that kind of window into the lives of people around me.

(This is from an NYT Motherlode entry by Amy Lawton: After a Divorce, Creeping Around Happiness – NYTimes.com.)

She wants to figure out whether those folks are happy, because she wants to know what happiness looks like.  When I’ve glanced in windows, I only wondered what their lives were like. What their struggles were.

Because we all struggle.

Happiness is never in what you can see, through a window, or in a facebook post. Happiness is not a goal, it is not an end result, on display.

Happiness comes first. You have to like, no love, who you are. Truly and deeply. Without any external validation.

None of us are happy until then.