So this neighbor across town, the one I believed was leaving the man for whom she left her husband? I’m supposed to have lunch with her today. (When I learned she was leaving, I was so very relieved it prompted me to contact her and ask how she was, and we scheduled a lunch date.)

I am already regretting this lunch, scheduled in about three hours.

See, I don’t think she’s really left him: Her Facebook and LinkedIn profile pictures feature him with her. Their facebook relationship statuses still indicate that they are a couple. They apparently are still working together. She continues to wear the engagement ring he gave her (he wanted her to keep it, and she wears it to keep other men out of her life).

I think she is easing her way out of an emotionally abusive relationship, as slowly as she can. I think this fool of a man believes they’re still together, that he still “has” her, that he is just generously giving her the space she needs to be on her own for a while. I think she is letting her old friends know as much as she can let them know, or worse, what she thinks they want to hear. I think I think I think.

My head might explode.

I’m going to have lunch with her, and she’s going to tell me partial truths and she’ll sugar-coat situations and she’ll feign ignorance or actually be ignorant and I’m going to have to try to be… blank.

Blank. Meaning, not pass judgment. Not say what I think. Not question her, relentlessly, until she simply admits what we can all see. Nope. That kind of thing is just not done.

I’m an idiot to have agreed to lunch. A blank-faced idiot.

Who lies, with silence.