stalling and clinging

Back when I was paid to work, whenever I had a big project to complete–drafting a report, writing an article–I’d first clean my office. It’d make me feel better, creating a fresh, clean space in which to work.

Best I can do with this blog of mine is to play around with themes available on wordpress.com. It does in fact make me feel better, creating a fresh, clean space in which to write.

Yeah, I’m stalling… anything to delay the telling of any of my various humiliations. Just yesterday I’d actually thought about ditching the whole “anonymous” thing with this diary, in order to better publicize what I’m trying to do. But if I’m going to be really honest about what I’ve done, what I’ve thought, what I do, and what I think… if I’m really going to chuck the pretense of being all graceful and positive online while remaining, in real life, a corporate wife who doesn’t want to embarrass her spouse (“graceful and positive”), I’ll cling to my anonymity for a bit longer.

It makes me feel better.

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