I feel like such a throw-back sometimes–tending to every need of my children, making sure my husband doesn’t need to worry about day-to-day trials at home, being his biggest cheerleader, and assuring that this move is as smooth and seamless as possible.

Upon learning that we’d be relocating, I could have said: “No, I don’t want to leave the country, I don’t want to uproot our children, I don’t want to be so far from our families, I’ll miss my life here too much.” I could have thrown up my hands and expected my husband to handle it all.

But would any wife really do that?

I think a great deal about what makes a marriage work. I think much happiness depends on whether you believe it’s possible to want something you didn’t choose.

My sister said to me on our wedding day, about 10 minutes before the beautifully conceived outdoor ceremony was scheduled to begin, and while all the groomsmen and my then-future husband were frantically moving chairs and guiding guests to a covered but cramped patio due to an oncoming thunderstorm, “This is what it’s all about… letting go and trusting.”

Trusting that even though it’s not what you pictured, it’s still what you want. It makes everything seem far less like a compromise or sacrifice, and far more like winning the lottery.